On Setting Up Windows Machines

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At work I'm required to use a Windows laptop. As, perhaps, many of you are. And yes, a little piece of me does die every day. I've decided to get a Mac anyway to do actual work, and I can use this PC to interface with the small handful of Windows-only applications I am required to use. Incidentally my iPad has become a huge part of my workflow since being given this HP Pavillion g Series with a sweet AMD Quad-Core processor. Let me just say that not all Quad-Cores are created equal.

All that to say that this is not the point of my post. The point is that when I first got this computer I had to, obviously, set it up for actual use. This took me the better part of the day. Seriously it took almost 5 hours.

First things first. The computer booted into Windows 7 which, as far as Windows goes, is fairly nice, but it has subtly changed enough from XP that I get confused about things like "Personalizing" my desktop. But when it boots you need to go get some basic tools like an anti-virus package. I went with Windows Security Essentials - why is this not bundled? Security software is essential for Windows - it should be included standard. Once that's downloaded I double-click to open and then start doing something else... downloading Chrome, I think. After several minutes I notice that WSE still has not installed. So I click on the yellow install shield in the task bar and the screen goes black... after a few seconds a warning dialogue pops up that asks if it's okay that the program I just launched makes changes I click 'yes' and only then will the program actually install. Then Windows needs to restart. Fine. Restart. When Windows loads up again it it begins installing update 1 of 75. That took about 10-15 minutes. Then it restarted again. Then it installed a few more updates, probably around 10-15. Then it restarted again and booted into the actual OS after a while. Then I installed Office (I use iWork on my Macs) and it reminded me about how much I love authentication... 'cause one cannot copy-paste off the back of the Office packaging. Fine.

Then, because the built-in trackpad on this HP box is so horrendous I bought a wireless mouse (with USB dongle, of course) and as soon as it was plugging in, it just worked... no, no it didn't. Windows needed to reboot again. Reboot.

Install Dropbox, C-Cleaner, and Defraggler. No restart. Nice.

Then came the death blow. Installing programs I use every single day...

  • Reeder? No. Windows alternative... none.
  • Fantastical? No. Windows alternative... none.
  • Cobook? No. Windows alternative... none.
  • Coda? No. Windows alternative... Dreamweaver: $399
  • Pixelmator? No. Windows alternative... Photoshop: $699 or GIMP: Shoot Me
  • Motion? No. Windows alternative... After Effects: $999
  • Aperture? No. Windows alternative... Lightroom: $149
  • Mail.app? No. Windows alternative... Postbox: $39 or Outlook: Shoot Me

That's $290 in Mac software that would cost $2290 to replace most of in a Windows world.

After about two month of this I broke down and bought a Mac. I still have that HP in the corner. And I use it occasionally for a small handful of Windows-only tasks. But it sure looks awful lonely.

Windows users... I don't know how you put up with these machines. The constant rebooting. Updates a-plenty, all requiring a reboot. Software makers that assume you're trying to steal everything (but with those prices I can understand why). Even the OS assumes it's been stolen until proved otherwise.

You know the best part? No one in my office thought it was at all weird that I spent my whole first day setting up my machine. No one.

When I bought my new Mac I had it set up in an hour.

Office for iOS & Android

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Free, but it requires a Microsoft account, and only allows viewing (which iOS already does, without a Microsoft account). And if you want "basic editing" it'll cost $4/month. Or, if you want more advanced editing you can just buy the whole iWork suite for $30 in the App Store. This sounds like the stupidest thing ever. How did it possibly take Microsoft 4 years to come out with this?

(via The Verge)

Space on RT

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Justin Rubio:

Microsoft has revealed exactly how much free space new Surface owners are left with after taking into account Windows RT and system-related files. For the 32GB version of the new tablet, users have access to only 16GB of storage, with the remaining half taken up by Windows recovery tools, Windows RT, Microsoft Office, and built-in apps.

What's most amazing about this to me is that this is the stripped-down version of Windows designed exclusively for tablets. How unreal will the space requirements for Windows for Surface Pro be!?

Tim Cook on Compromise

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Microsoft was chanting the mantra of "No Compromises" at it's Surface Launch Event. But that's just delusory nonsense. Even Tim Cook, whose company has been leading the charge in almost every profitable & popular emerging area of personal computing said (via Joanna Stern):

One of the toughest things you do is make hard tradeoffs and decide what a product should be, and we’ve done that with the iPad.

It's not about 'no compromise' it's about the right compromise.

Ballmer's Reality Distortion Field

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Steve Ballmer, in reference to the tablet market (via CNBC & The Macalope):

I don't think anyone has done a product that I see customers wanting.

There's only two possible things happening here. Either Ballmer knows he's lying through his teeth, or he doesn't. Unfortunately both of these alternatives still make him look like, well, an idiot. If I were Ballmer and had some high-end talent heading to the free agency pool soon, I'd watch my back.

Option 1: Ballmer knows he's lying through his teeth. He's trying to play down (read: ignore) the obscene success of the iPad as irrelevant (sounds familiar) in order to make the Surface look like the better option. But this doesn't make the Surface look better, it makes Steve Ballmer look out of touch with reality. And worse, it makes Microsoft look like they have not a single clue what people want. Microsoft isn't the biggest player in the game anymore. And Ballmer needs to realize it. Perhaps more importantly he needs to know that we realize it.

Acknowledge that Microsoft hasn't had a compelling product in this space. Acknowledge that you're targeting it. Show us what you have, tell us what it costs, tell us when it will ship, and tell us why it's better.

Option 2: Ballmer doesn't know he's lying. If this is the case, then Steve Ballmer has his own Reality Distortion Field.

Everyone Happy All The Time

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Microsoft's big push behind Windows 8 (and its new tablet, the Surface) has been all about the promise of “no compromise”. Microsoft wants its offering to be all things to all people. But to anyone who thinks critically about anything, ever, that's just plain stupid. Design is all about compromise. It's about choosing what battles to fight and what battles to cede.

The 11" MacBook Air. If you want a laptop that compact and portable, the screen won't be very large. The battery life won't be as good. The thermal envelope doesn't support jamming a ton of processing power in it. Why? Because those are the things that need to be sacrificed at the altar of portability.

The 15" MacBook Pro with Retina Display has the opposite problem. It has a large (and gorgeous) display, better battery life, and scads of horsepower. But it's much bigger and much heavier than the 11" Air.

The iPad (4) is bigger, thicker, and heavier than the iPad Mini, but those are the tradeoffs that had to be made to keep the battery life the same and still run the retina display/A6X processor.

Of course, despite all the high-minded talk, this is also true of the Surface (from Matt Honan):

Microsoft’s new tablet is an altogether curious device. It’s something completely new and different. It is, in some ways, better than an iPad. In some ways, worse. It’s brilliant, and yet it can be puzzling as well. Confoundingly so at times. It’s a tablet of both compromises and confusion. It is a true hybrid — neither fully a desktop nor mobile device. That’s reflected in all sorts of ways. It is Wi-Fi only, but won’t run traditional Windows applications. It has a full-featured keyboard and runs Microsoft Office — but it’s certainly meant to be touched and swiped and tapped.

It’s different.

And of course — but again, not unexpectedly — Windows 8 runs into similar compromises (from Tom Warren):

Microsoft has made the decision to remove a number of features from its Office 2013 RT release to ensure battery life and reliability are not impacted on tablet devices.

Some compromise is fine as long as we don't go overboard (remember netbooks?). Consumers understand compromise. Further, people in general understand compromise. We do it all the time in all aspects of our lives. Our electronics are no different. And Microsoft, I don't blame you for compromising; we all knew you had to do it. But please, please don't treat us like we're stupid.

That's one thing I won't compromise on.

"Copying Doesn't Stop Innovation"

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James Allworth:

Apple didn't stop innovating at all. Instead: they came out with the iMac. Then OS X ("Redmond, start your photocopiers"). Then the iPod. Then the iPhone. And now, most recently, the iPad. Given the underlying reason that Apple has been bringing these cases to court was to enable them to continue to innovate, it's hard not to ask: if copying stops innovation, why didn't Apple stop innovating last time they were copied?

Is this guy for real!?

Apple didn't stop innovating; Microsoft did! Microsoft rode a poorly worded gravy train to over-priced glory then tossed the tech landscape into a monopolistic dark age. Samsung was on track to accomplish the same thing. This doesn't stop the innovators from doing their thing. That's in their DNA. It stops their competitors from innovating, and that destroys the work of the people who are "pushing the human race forward".

"Ready For Mountain Lion"

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Killian Bell:

Microsoft Office 2011 looks awful on the new MacBook Pro?s Retina display. But unfortunately for its customers, it seems Microsoft has no plans to add high-resolution graphics.

Karen Haslam:

Microsoft’s Office 2011 is now described as “ready for Mountain Lion” but it does not integrate Mountain Lion features, in fact the software doesn’t yet integrate features like Versions and Auto Save that became available a year ago when Lion launched

If you want auto-save or versioning (which are awesome - I use them in Pages all the time) you're out of luck. But there's a simple 14-Step Process to semi-enable retina-ish graphics in the rest of the suite. Seems to have mixed results based on the comments at Cult of Mac.

Retina Microsoft Word

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Buster Heine:

The great news for Word fans is there’s a really easy work around that will force your Microsoft Word app to use your MacBook Pro’s Retina display, which makes the app look a lot better.

Just a quick 14-step process to make Word look like it belong on a Retina Display Mac. Office is Microsoft's cash cow, yet they won't update it for Retina MacBooks (more of which are expected in the future), and it's still not available on iPhone/iPad. I switched to iWork - and I love it.

Apples vs Phantom Oranges

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Killian Bell (emphasis mine):

We’ve been watching the iPad laugh in the face of the competition and dust off competitors without too many worries for the past three years. But the Surface will be the first tablet to put up a real fight, and that’s something Apple will need to keep an eye on.

For real? This is just as bad as people declaring that iPad Mini will destroy the Nexus 7 or the Kindle Fire. When it ships and you can actually use it and see how it works under real-world conditions then you can feel free to make whatever comparisons your heart desires. Until then please stop talking. This sort of rampant speculation is the reason my site's named what it is. Review and compare actual, shipping products only, please.

On the Surface Smart Cover

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Citi analyst Walter Pritchard (via The Next Web:

At the meeting with MSFT Windows execs, we were able to try the Surface touch keyboard (we weren’t at LA launch) and also use it conjunction with new Office (RT- version). All works well. The keyboard is responsive and natural (same size as laptop keyboard), with only downside being there is only slight raised delineation between keys, meaning you have to look at your fingers while you type. With short words, we were able to type accurately, although longer words were more error-prone.

Touch-typists rejoice!

Bill Gates on Surface

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Bill Gates (via CNET), interpreted:

I actually believe you can have the best of both worlds. You can have a rich ecosystem of manufacturers and you can have a few signature devices that show off, you know, wow, what's the difference between a tablet and a PC.

Translation: Our OEMs blew it. We can do better, but I don't want to just come out and say that. But I kind of will anyway. In related news, you can have your cake and eat it too.

You don't have to make a compromise. You can have everything you like about a tablet and everything you like about a PC all in one device. And so that should change the way people look at things.

Translation: Yes, we've been trying the same approach since 2002 and no, we do not see a problem with that. Also, we are courting Jim Balsillie and Mike Lazaridis to join Steve Ballmer as co-co-co-CEOs.

There were a few things that could have been done differently to bring it (a Microsoft tablet) to critical mass...

Translation: We should have waited to see what Apple would do from the beginning. Than added a kickstand.

I'm sure Apple is terrified.

Microsoft's Illustrious History in Hardware

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Austin Carr:

Before Microsoft unveiled the Surface tablet last week in Los Angeles, it unveiled the mouse. More specifically, the 1983 Microsoft Mouse, which CEO Steve Ballmer hailed as an example of the company’s 30-year history in hardware.

Carr then goes on to rave about the Arc Touch mouse and the new Surface (including an emotional attachment to the kickstand, apparently) and about the superior quality of Microsoft's hardware designs and implementations...

Nick Eaton in 2009:

[A] Game Informer survey of 5,000 readers found that the Xbox 360 has an astounding 54.2 percent failure rate. That means 54.2 percent of Xbox 360 consoles fail in one way or another.

That’s well above the reported failure rates of Sony’s PlayStation 3 (10.6 percent) and Nintendo’s Wii (6.8 percent).

I'm not saying Surface is bad, it might be awesome. I'll be interested to play with one when they are released. But when we glow about Microsoft's history in hardware let's not forget their most successful hardware device.

TechCrunch saying things...

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Frederic Lardnois & Peter Ha on OS X's new Power Nap feature in Mountain Lion. First this:

Isn’t Power Nap an awesome new feature of OS X? It is if you’re a Mac user but to Windows users, it’s old news.

Then this:

You see, Microsoft had a similar feature in Vista called SideShow. It was supposed to herald the arrival of secondary displays that were going to be built into laptop lids, for example. Those displays were supposed to show you incoming email, upcoming calendar appointments and similar information – all while your computer was in sleep mode. It was, too put it mildly, a dismal failure. Hardware manufacturers never embraced SideShow (with the exception of a handful of laptops) and most consumers probably never heard of it to begin with.

Old news… that's no one's ever heard of. Makes sense.

Microsoft Office for iPad

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Jake Smith:

BGR reports that Microsoft Office for iPad is launching in November.

I'm sure the masses will be delighted if this turns out to be true. But if this is the case then Microsoft is basically admitting defeat in the tablet space. Office as an exclusive for Windows could be their killer app. And they're giving it away. It'll be interesting to watch, however.

New Mac Malware

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Jake Smith on a couple bits of Mac malware:

The most recent virus found was one that affects Word for Mac, which allows the infiltrator to gain access to the user’s files.

Leave it to Microsoft to compromise security on the Mac.

There’s also other viruses that take advantage of vulnerabilities in Java

And this is why both Java and flash aren't installed on new Macs. I haven't had Java installed in over a year… and I haven't ever noticed.